Dear _____________,

I’m positive you’re going to assume that this is about you after you read this, and it is, this time around anyways. I spent a lot of time thinking about what we talked about, and to be honest, I feel like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulder. When we broke up, I really had mixed feelings about it. What if we try again, will things be different? What if he’s lonely without me? What if I did this differently, would the result have been the same? What if we talked about things earlier, would it have gotten this bad? I spent months trying to figure out what I wanted, and I ended up dealing with things by burying it in my heart. When we, or should I say I, tried to become friends the first time around, I was frustrated every time you brushed me off. I knew your personality, so I was patient and I tried to talk to you, but things just weren’t working. We were always fighting and we could never come to any agreements. Then I got even more angry, not at you, but at myself. I knew I was too nice when we were together. That’s why he started over looking me in the first place. I was always there for him so he became unappreciative and figured I’d always be there no matter what. There was a constant struggle within me. I admit it, when you attempted to become my friend this time around, I was angry. I’m finally with someone who cares about me and I’m happy again, so why does he have to go and screw everything up for me? I tried for months to befriend him, but he completely ignored my attempts but now he’s here telling me “I don’t know why, but I want to be your friend now” like I’d just accept him with open arms? Why does he always have to make things so difficult? I knew you were always offended whenever I said you didn’t have enough experience to understand things, but I was being honest. There are some things you can’t learn without going through it yourself. It’s true, I did get mad at you, I held so much hatred for you inside me for the longest time. But now, I’m tired of it, and it’s not worth it. I know you never truly loved me, it was obvious because you never stopped telling me I was never good enough. You know how people are always talking about how boyfriends should compliment their girlfriends? Think about it, when did you ever seriously compliment me? You always told me things like you’re not the prettiest girl I know, but at least you’re not the ugliest. I never asked if I was the prettiest, and I honestly never cared, I just wanted to know whether you thought I was beautiful or not. You never really supported my dancing, you never thought I was smart enough, you didn’t think I was athletic enough, and you thought I wasn’t popular enough for you either. And you know what really upset me about that? You knew that I was the one who turned you from a quiet introvert to the person you are now. You met people through me, or met them because you were with me. You knew that all of your so-called friends were mine first, and you still had the nerve to say that I wasn’t popular and then think you were? Popularity isn’t the quantity of people who know you, it’s how many of those people actually like you. I knew you were hard-headed and had a straight-forward personality, so it was hard for you to make friends, but you knew I was always there for you. Apparently you knew it so well you eventually forgot. You can’t tell someone who has always been there for you that you think they don’t care about you, you just can’t. When I talked to my friends about what to do with you, they told me to ignore you. But I couldn’t, I was angry and bitter at you, but I couldn’t ignore you. Why? Because I knew how hard it was for you to open up to other people, and even if you have friends now, I was pretty sure they weren’t close enough for you to actually talk to. But they were right, always being there was bad for you and me as well. I couldn’t always be there for you to depend on, so I should have just stopped prying into your business every time you were depressed. However, things are a little different now. I knew from the start you never loved me, you just loved the idea of being loved by someone who accepted you despite your flaws. I should probably be angry and run to you and cry and punch you in the face. But I felt so much better after verifying it with you. I was able to dig out that piece of my heart that I hid so long ago, and now I can use that piece to love again. I’m not mad anymore, and I’m not confused anymore. I think we can become good friends again if we try. But we’ll just have to wait and see hmmm?